How Women Pick Up Men

This is the advice being offered by Helen Croydon who teaches women how to flirt and pick up, so listen to this men as many insights can be gained as to how women go about the task of picking up men.

Apparently, it's all about exuding a lively, approachable vibe. "It's Friday night, look like you're having fun!" we are told. Sitting down is not allowed, as that "puts us out of reach". We have to smile a lot and look confident, yet relaxed. We should take in our surroundings in case we want them to be conversation openers. Is there a jukebox? Is anyone drinking a cocktail that we can comment on? We should never embark on a night out without an accessory that could invite someone to open a conversation - a hat or a striking necklace, for instance.

Most importantly, we need to make plenty of eye contact: "We instinctively look away when our eyes lock with a stranger. Tonight you are going to hold it for five seconds, smile, maybe even wink, and see what happens," Ostler instructs. I am absolutely terrified.

At crowded bar number one, Ostler unleashes us into the crowd: "Go!" She follows behind to observe our amateur tactics.
Instead of staring straight ahead, as I would usually, I smile at a man to my left. Disastrously, the crowds prevent me from continuing forward, so I am stuck awkwardly next to him and don't know where to look. My smile worked, though, because he opens a conversation. I lean back, away from his vodka breath.
"No!" growls Ostler in my ear. "You need to lean inwards. Think friendly, warm, welcoming persona." I obediently endure three minutes of his slurring. It's practice, remember.
In the next - thankfully quieter - location, I select a clean-cut business type as my practice piece. He is deep in conversation, so I walk straight past. How can I infiltrate that?
Ostler is unimpressed: "You should have made a detour to walk past him. Why did you walk around that other guy? You could have tapped him on the shoulder, smiled and said excuse me and gently squeezed past. Go back."

I protest on the grounds that he has obviously seen us conspiring. But I am forced. Despite my flirting being under duress, it works again. On my return journey, the clean-cut suit stops his conversation and asks: "Are you looking for your friends?" Cue a conversation.

Ostler has a formula for the conversation stage: A-E-I-O-U. A is for ask lots of questions. E is for ears to listen, rather than talk. I is for the essence of 'I' - making sure your personality oozes out. O is for Oh my God - showing some animation and a human side. U is for you - the person you are talking to - making them the focus of conversation.

From http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/feb/09/how-to-flirt-lessons-women

Dress Neg

I would honestly say that this is the best NEG to date!

When you see a HB and she snuffs you ... tell her you think think her dress is
very nice (something she has heard before) and then tell her you remember
seeing her at a club before and she was wearing the same dress. It IS nice
though. :)

Whether or not you ever saw her before, you can ASSUME she HAS been social
before and that she was wearing the dress before.

This deflates her INSTANTLY and puts you in control.

Style (Neil Strauss)

Hailed as the king of the un-naturals. Neil Strauss catapulted to the top of the seduction community after the release of his best selling book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. In the book, Strauss chronicles his journey from an average frustrated chump to one of the world’s best pick-up artists. Though Style was mainly a student of Mystery he became skilled at learning and combining the methods of many of the top seducers, essentially becoming the Bruce Lee of seduction.

This guy is pretty cool, he gets laid always and look at him, gives us ALL hope!

Neil Strauss Pictures:

Mystery (Erik Von Markovich)

The star of VH1′s new reality show, The Pick Up Artist, Mystery is a long time member of the seduction community and is known for his systematic method for picking up women. Mystery came onto the scene in direct opposition to the Speed Seduction hypnosis style of game that was popular at the time. He developed an indirect style where the pickup artist would move from various stages of attraction, comfort and seduction called The Mystery Method. This method became the basis for many of today’s seduction models and has been used by Mystery to train many of today’s best pick-up artists.

This is the guy who introduced me to the world of pick up! I used to watch that show and see how he transformed dorky, nerdy men without a shred of self confidence into true vibrant and sexy men! good on you Mystery - much love to you!

Here are some pictures so you can see how this dude looks like. What do you think of Mystery and his methods? have they worked for you? share with us your experiences in the comments section below.

Pictures of Mystery:

 An Interview With Mystery:

1) The name of the book is The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction. What did you feel needed to be improved?
First and foremost, the entire pickup or seduction community has had the spotlight on it. So women have become more aware of pickup.
When the first season of my show came out, I was expecting there to be some backlash. There wasn't though. I was surprised by that.
I've invited girls to my boot camp before, and the reaction I'd get from them would be 'Yup, that's how you get us.' You can teach pickup to women.
I've had guys come up to me and say 'You're revealing all the secrets.' If you need pickup to be a secret, it's unethical. Not only can you teach women pickup that you use yourself, but it will still work. It's all based on emotional psychology.

2) The book is dedicated to 'All the lonely hearts.' Would you say these lonely hearts are the target audience of this book?
No. I was the first lonely heart in my life. When I embarked on this whole pickup artist journey I wrote notes. In fact, the very first chapter of this book, the first few paragraphs are my original posts that I wrote in 1998. I wrote 'I am a pickup artist' anonymously in a blog as 'Mystery.' I thought that was a fitting way to begin this book. Some of the very same things I said in '98 are still around. That was a long time ago. The world is still turning and much of it remains -- aside from now having a much more complex social life, of course. My love life is just messy but I guess those are good problems to have.

3) What is a typical boot camp like?
It's a light-hearted weekend outing for men. The last one I did was about three weeks ago in Miami. We had 55 people there, plus my guys. So about 60 guys total.
It's fast paced. I only have three days to work with them and I have to create life-changing results with them. I have to snap them out of whatever funk they are in at that moment and show them that it's not dealing with internal conflict, the 'inner-game,' as they call it.
The outer game is a way of systematically approaching groups of people without threatening them. A lot of men will typically go up to a girl and not realize that women of beauty are rarely alone, they usually travel in groups. Already they've alienated the other people in the group by talking to her and hitting on her before he's even given her the opportunity to see him interact with the group. This interaction gives her the chance to see his personality.
There's a sequence of steps. During the day at my boot camp I teach my students the steps. Then they get ready, and those who are coming into the field with me go to a nightclub. While we're there I put them through the paces. I teach them how to systematically approach groups of people. I teach them how to put their best foot forward. I teach them how to show value for another human being.
After three days of that, those guys are ready. They're ready to go on their adventure and get good at this.

4) How has your relationship with Neil Strauss changed your life?
I'd say both he and I have influenced each other greatly. Has he made me a better writer? No. He definitely taught me a work ethic. He's a brilliant writer.
When I was in high school, the first group of friends that gravitated towards me weren't exactly the kind of friends I intended on keeping. The friends that I have now, Neil being one of them, I'm happy to say that I'm proud of. I'm proud of Neil, proud to call him a friend.
He and I don't need anything from each other. We just enjoy each other's company. He's busy flying around the world. I'm busy flying around the world. We both live in Hollywood and we hang out. He's my buddy. He wrote the foreword for this book and that was very kind of him to do.

5) During this recent rise to fame you're experiencing thanks to the books and reality shows, what has been the biggest surprise?
It's been fun. When The Game first came out, I enjoyed having people approach me and say 'You're Mystery, you look exactly how I thought you'd look.' Especially in nightclubs. That setting is full of people who were already familiar with my work. Neil did a really good job at crafting an image of what I looked like. People were recognizing me from the book.
Then came the reality show. VH-1 really pushed that show. Eight episodes, each an hour long. Then they did full-day marathons of it. A full day of Mystery on TV! The celebrity felt explosive. I thought there was nowhere to go but down. Then came season two and it just got bigger. Instead of doing a third season, I decided to do a spinoff. I can't talk much about that though.
In the last year though, I've been doing a boot camp tour. I'm traveling the world now. I live in Hollywood. It's absolutely great.
I hung with David Copperfield for a few months. He's a full blown celebrity. He's three-quarters of a billionaire from being a magician. There was a certain hype that surrounded him when he walked into a room. I can't help but think that I too am now garnering a similar sort of hoopla, for lack of a better word, when I walk into a room.
I love it. You'd figure that because of my work, guys would say 'Stay away from my girlfriend' even just as a joke, but instead they're throwing girls at me. Isn't that crazy?

6) Can the skills you teach be translated into other aspects of life?
A lot of guys love it for business. The way it works is, if a guy likes you he wants to do business with you, if a girl likes you she wants to have sex with you. I get a lot of business opportunities thrown my way.

7) What are some of your favorite places to go in LA?
House parties. I love house parties. Hollywood Hills house parties. I live in the Hollywood Hills right under the Hollywood sign. It's so inspiring. It's actually inspiring and daunting. Sometimes you look at it and think, 'I'm here!' I remember when I was 19 thinking, I want to be in Hollywood. And now here I am, I've made it.
It's daunting also though. Every time I go out there and have a smoke, it's looking at me saying 'Ok, what's next?'

Beautiful or Nerdy

There was a study done recently that said that beautiful couples have more daughters and nerdy couples have more sons. Would you say your parents were beautiful or nerdy?

I Have a Boyfriend

What to say when she tells you she has a boyfriend: 

Her (in a playful way): "I have a boyfriend" -
You: "I can totally relate...I actually have two kids."

She will more than likely call you out on it. But more importantly, she will be changing the subject back to you and probably realize that her being in a relationship is not that big of a deal. 

Her (in a defensive way): "I have a boyfriend"
You: "Wow, I'm sorry, you must have thought that I was hitting on you. I was actually just being nice..."

This will make her feel guilty and she will more than likely apologize to you. 

Her (in a bitchy way):"I have a boyfriend."
You: "Great. Can you do me a favor? Tell him to go fuck himself."

Use this last one only if you really have to.

Lines for The Hook Point

You: Have you ever met someone that you just feel so comfortable around? You know, you really hit it off with them?
Her: I totally know what you mean!
You: Yeah...I've never met a person like that. (smile)